DWine Insight

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts
and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under boyfriend
5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs,
such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed
undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6
simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate Housewife

******************************************************

Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind: Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download
Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0
should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and
Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy
Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Kebab 6.1. Late Night Kebab
6.1 is a very bad program that will create FartingLoudly.wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall
another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and
will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a
limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might
consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I
personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongue Kisses 6.9.

Good Luck,

IT Support